


Instinctive

by laughter_now



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Fail-Sex, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-18
Updated: 2012-07-18
Packaged: 2017-11-10 06:25:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/463200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laughter_now/pseuds/laughter_now
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe there were a couple of things Jim and Leonard should have talked about before they decided to sleep with each other. A little communication never hurt, especially since they're both trying to hide the same thing from one another...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Instinctive

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything associated with the Star Trek franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  
> First posted at my lj on August 31st, 2010.

**_Instinctive_**  
  
  
Jim's body was, essentially, a work of art.  
  
And yes, Leonard had seen Jim Kirk in various states of undress before, but over the past years that had mostly happened when Jim was stretched out on a biobed, at a time when sex had not really been the first thing on Leonard's mind. Now though, Jim was stretched out on his bed, stripped down to his briefs. His pale skin was flushed with arousal, and his chest was rising and falling in time with his rapid breaths.  
  
A work of art, from the finely toned chest muscles right down to the fine trail of hair leading from his navel to the waistband of his briefs.  
All stretched out for Leonard to see, to touch and claim as his own.  
  
And there was no turning back now.  
  
Leonard loved Jim. There was no doubt about it, and if he was as honest and open with himself as he rarely dared to be, then he had to admit that he had been in love with the kid for quite a while already. He had simply assumed that nothing was ever going to come of it. That he and Jim were never going to be more than friends.  
  
Boy, had he been wrong.  
  
Apparently, Jim wasn't opposed to the idea of them being more than friends. Enthused, even, if the hungry kisses and panted words and promises in between those were any indication. These past days, ever since that first out-of-the-blue kiss had happened between them, Jim had shown no sign at all that he was opposed to being with Leonard in that way.  
  
But this…this wasn't just taking it a step farther. This was _leaping_.  
  
Maybe they should have talked more, instead of all the kissing and making out, and despite the fact that they were men and not Girl Scouts who braided each other's hair and talked about their frickin' _feelings_. But maybe, if they had taken a little more time for verbal communication, the fact might have come up that Leonard had never done this before.  
  
This…well, the sex.  
  
Oh, he was no blushing virgin. He had been married, had had partners before and after that, too. And everyone who had ever been through the stage where a marriage was about to fall apart probably knew that spicing up the sex-life was one of the first remedies most couples tried in order to ignore the fact that something more fundamental was wrong.  
  
So yeah, Leonard had a trick or two up his sleeve as far as sex was concerned. He wasn't worried about that.  
  
What he was worried about, couldn't help but worry about, was that for all the things he had tried in his life, he had never been with a man before. Never. And Jim…well, Jim didn't know that. It just…hadn't come up so far, and right now was probably not a good time to mention it.  
  
That was not to say that Leonard didn't want this. Hell, just the thought of being with Jim, of running his hands down that smooth expanse of pale skin, of the feeling of those lips under his, made Leonard's heart speed up and his blood run south. He wanted this like he hadn't wanted anything in a long time. He just wasn't too sure how to go on about it. He was aware of the theory, and he wouldn't be a good doctor is he wasn't. Theoretically, he was perfectly aware how gay sex worked. He just had no practical experience to build on.  
  
Jim was undoubtedly the more experienced of them, and Leonard had secretly hoped that once they got down to this, Jim was going to take the lead and show Leonard what he wanted. Maybe he had hoped that if Jim did, the fact that Leonard was doing this for the first time was going to go unnoticed. There was no doubt that the moment had come tonight, and rightfully so, because there was only so much time two healthy men could spend kissing and cuddling the night away. But contrary to Leonard's expectations, Jim made no move to take the lead like Leonard had secretly hoped he would.  
  
It felt ridiculous, and contrary to everything Leonard believed about himself and his own level-headedness. But he was a little out of his depth here, and Jim wasn't giving him the pointers he had hoped for. Theoretically, he knew all about the options. He knew about the things one man could do to another with his hands, mouth or cock. But he had no clue what he wanted, what he'd like or dislike, and more importantly what Jim liked, either.  
  
All he knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, was that he wanted Jim, and the sight of him lying flushed and aroused on that bed made his cock throb in anticipation. Jim was just as aroused, his cock filling and clearly outlined beneath the fabric of his briefs. Leonard _really_ wanted this, and maybe if he only dove right in, things were going to work out just by themselves. After all, people a lot dumber than he was figured these things out every day.  
  
Jim had never been shy about sharing details from his sex-life, unasked and often unwanted, but looking Leonard couldn't think of a single instance in which he had mentioned what he preferred. Hell, Leonard had no clue what he himself wanted, though he had to admit that the thought of anyone, even Jim, sticking their cock up his ass wasn't exactly one that filled him with joyful anticipation. In between side-remarks about how hot that Orion girl was, or the things that one girl could do with her tongue, a sentence like _I've been fucked into the mattress all night long_ would really help him right now, no matter how much he might have been opposed to hearing it at the time.  
  
But Leonard essentially had no clue what the hell Jim wanted.  
  
What did Jim want? Was there any kind of sign he had missed? Would Jim tell him? Because Leonard wasn't really ready to get this started only to stop halfway through once he realized that Jim wanted something he wasn't ready to give. Yet. Or at all. Damned if he knew.  
  
"Bones," Jim whispered, his voice deep and hoarse with arousal, and Leonard quickly pulled off his pants. He ignored the stab of self-consciousness at being this bare in front of Jim, dressed only in his Starfleet standard issue briefs that didn't do a damn thing to hide how aroused he already was.  
  
Jim smiled at him – and damn if that smile wasn't capable of letting him forget about all doubts and worries – and with a warm hand on the back of his neck he pulled Leonard down into a searing kiss. _This_ he could work with. Kissing Jim was…there were no words to describe it. It was warm and sensual, full and plump lips moving under his own as that wicked tongue did things to him that defied description.  
  
He found himself moaning into the kiss as Jim pulled him on top, his body settling against Jim's and bare skin lining up against bare, warm skin. Kissing Jim was a revelation, something that opened up floodgates inside of Leonard which he had considered long-since barred and locked up. Jim's hands were roaming over his back, warm and callused, and Leonard found his own hands struggling to move along. Holding himself up on one elbow, he let his other hand roam freely, tracing the sparse growth of chest hair until his fingers encountered one of Jim's nipples and Jim practically arched into him.  
  
Leonard moaned, his vision blackening out for a second as the movement brushed their cocks together. So Jim's nipples were sensitive, he mentally catalogued. He could work with that. Breaking the kiss – much to Jim's protest – he kissed and mouthed a wet line down his jaw and neck towards his chest.  
  
It wasn't that different to being with a woman so far. Of course there was the stubble on Jim's face and neck, and the sparse hair on his chest, not to mention the distinct lack of breasts surrounding his nipples, but the basics were the same. Small gasps and moans meant that Jim enjoyed what he was doing, simple as that. That part at least was intuitive, and had nothing to do with gender.  
  
When he sucked one nipple into his mouth, letting his tongue roam across the small hard nub, Jim arched off the bed again, cursing and moaning at the same time. Jim's fingers dug into his back, blunt nails leaving a pleasant burn in their wake as they scratched at his skin. It felt good, and Leonard moaned around Jim's nipple at the pressure.  
  
This was good, and not all that much different to what he had done before. It seemed like the natural next step to kiss a line down Jim's chest and around his navel, towards the waistband of his briefs. Jim was clearly aroused, his hard cock outlined underneath the tight fabric of his briefs as it nestled in the crook of his thigh. There was a damp patch of fabric where the head was, and Jim shivered at Leonard tentatively ran a finger along his length.  
  
"Bones…please…"  
  
It didn't feel much different than palming his own cock through his underwear, just without the sensation resulting from the touch. Encouraged by Jim's reaction, he pressed his palm tightly against Jim's cock, smiling at the resulting moan.  
  
"Bones."  
  
There was a whining undertone to Jim's voice, and Leonard didn't know where his courage suddenly came from as his hands reached for the waistband of Jim's briefs.  
  
"Let me take them off?"  
  
It was a question, but Jim was lifting up his hips before he had even finished speaking. Before he could possibly change his mind, Leonard pulled the fabric down. Jim's cock sprang free, hard and leaking, nestling against his lower belly as Jim sank back down on the mattress and Leonard pulled the briefs off completely.  
  
His heart was suddenly beating fast in his chest as Leonard took in the sight before him. Jim's definitely wasn't the fist cock he saw in his life, and having been a doctor for so long, on a spaceship where the weirdest things happened, no less, it definitely wasn't the first aroused cock he ever saw, either. But it was the first time under these circumstances, with the intention to touch and caress, and not the desire to heal driving him on.  
  
Jim…he was gorgeous. Even more so naked, spread out this completely in front of him, and for a moment Leonard simply sat there and admired the sight before him. Jim's cock was jutting out proudly, and as Leonard watched a small drop of precome formed at the tip. Looking up, he found Jim looking right back at him from beneath lowered lids, a slight flush coloring his cheeks. For a second he seemed almost insecure, as if Leonard could be anything but awed by the fact that this incredible man was all his.  
  
"So gorgeous," he rasped out. And it was true. Jim wasn't like any of the women Leonard had ever been with. There wasn't even a basis to compare. Jim was all hard lines and angles where Leonard was used to lush curves and softness, and it was…different. Not worse, definitely not worse, and maybe better, though Leonard would still have to take time to explore this. Right now it was all still so new, and Leonard's heart was beating frantically in his chest at the sight splayed out before him.  
  
For a second or two, neither of them moved, but then Jim canted his hips almost desperately and before Leonard knew what he was doing, he was leaning down and closed his lips around the head of Jim's cock.  
  
The moan that escaped Jim's lips bordered on obscene, and the sound spurred Leonard on. He might have never done this before, but he thought he'd figure it out on the way. He knew what he himself liked, and he had been on the receiving end of those particular ministrations before. In fact it had been one of the regular highlights in their marriage, and he figured that with a little practice he'd be able to hide the fact that he had never done this before.  
  
Jim's cock was a heady weight against his lips and tongue, and the taste was not what Leonard had expected it to be. A bit salty, a bit musky, and not that different from his own – and whatever living, red-blooded male claimed to have never tasted himself was a dirty liar. It definitely wasn't unpleasant, though, and combined with the feeling and knowledge that this was _Jim_ , he started to understand why Jocelyn had always been enthusiastic about doing this. It was empowering in a way, to feel how something like this could reduce someone as strong as Jim to a quivering, moaning mess.  
  
It were the moans that did it for Leonard, that made his own cock throb in his painfully tight briefs. In his enthusiasm, Leonard stopped twirling his tongue around the head of Jim's cock and took him in deeper. But he miscalculated, because all of a sudden it was too much. He took Jim in too deep and suddenly he was gagging, choking and coughing at the same time as he tried to pull his head back as quickly as possible. It was pure luck that he didn't bite down reflexively, and he screwed his eyes tightly shut as he coughed and spluttered.  
  
"Bones?" A warm hand settled on his bare shoulder and squeezed gently, but Leonard waved Jim off.  
  
"'m okay. Sorry."  
  
Looking up, he found that Jim had sat up and was hovering beside him, a worried frown on his face even though one quick look assured Leonard that Jim was still hard. And his cock looked delicious like this, slick with precome and spit. The last thing he wanted right now was for Jim to figure out that the reason why he had choked on Jim's dick was blatant inexperience. So before the younger man could even get a word in, Leonard quickly leaned over and claimed Jim's mouth again.  
  
The kiss grew heated immediately, and Leonard pressed Jim back into the mattress, reaching for Jim's cock with his hand. He'd just have to figure out the whole part about giving oral pleasure at a later point.  
  
Jim bucked up against him almost frantically, hands clawing at the waistband of Leonard's briefs. There was a second of hesitation, a second during which Leonard worried about stripping completely bare in front of the other man, but then he forced himself to think that this was _Jim_ , and there was nothing he had to be worried about. Or if he had, it wasn't the part where he got naked. Almost immediately, Jim's hand wrapped around his own throbbing erection, and it took all his self-restraint not to buck into the warm, calloused hand until he came.  
  
He probably would have, if Jim hadn't broken their kiss to rasp his next words into Leonard's ear.  
  
"I want you, Bones."  
  
Leonard pulled back and tried to catch Jim's eyes.  
  
"Jim?"  
  
"Want you in me, Bones. I want you to fuck me."  
  
Oh.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Okay? Where exactly had that thought come from?  
  
But that was the sign he had been waiting for, wasn't it? He had hoped for Jim to give him a clue as to what he wanted, and it didn't get any clearer than what Jim had just said. If Jim wanted to be fucked, Leonard was going to give him what he wanted. Even if his heart was beating so fast in his chest that it was a small wonder it hadn't given out from the strain yet.  
  
There was lube in the bedside table, and Leonard tried to ignore the way his hands shook as he squeezed some onto his fingers and waited for it to warm against his skin. Jim was lying on his back, the picture of debauchery as he nervously licked his lips once and then spread his legs.  
  
Right. He could do this. He'd just have to open Jim up a little, and get him used to the sensation of being filled. After that, it should be instinctive. It was just sex, after all. How hard could it be?  
  
With one hand, he stroked along Jim's inner thigh, feeling the muscles tremble against his hand from the strain of holding his legs open. His other hand traced a path along Jim's cock and balls, progressing farther and farther until his fingers pressed against Jim's entrance.  
  
Prostrate exams. It was the same principle, really, even though he'd never consider any prostate exam as much of a turn on as the sight of Jim spread out in front of him like this, ready and waiting for Leonard to open him up. Gently, almost teasingly, he rubbed his lubricated fingers around Jim's opening, teasing and steadily increasing the pressure until his index finger slipped in to the first knuckle.  
  
He was watching Jim's face in search of any trace of discomfort, but Jim had his eyes closed and was panting open-mouthed, small frown-lines furrowing his brow as if he was concentrating very hard on something.  
  
"Jim?"  
  
Blue eyes opened a fraction and his lips quirked up into a small smile.  
  
"Keep going, Bones. Feels good."  
  
Something felt off, but Leonard figured it was his own discomfort about the newness of the whole situation. Surely Jim knew a lot better what he wanted and needed right now, so Leonard carefully slid his finger in further. Jim felt incredibly tight around his single finger, and just the thought of being buried in that tight heat made something coil tightly inside of him in anticipation. Sliding his finger in and out of Jim was nearly too much already, and once the finger moved in an out of Jim's channel easily, Leonard squeezed more lube onto his hand and added a second finger.  
  
Jim moaned, even though he was wriggling his hips as if his body's initial reaction was to shift away. It was even harder to fit his two fingers into Jim's body, but sometimes a good knowledge of the human anatomy paid off. Leonard shifted, angling his fingers in what he thought was the right way as he sought out the small gland he knew was there. As his fingers brushed across it, Jim bucked up from the mattress with a loud yelp, and Leonard watched in fascination as a large glob of precome formed on the tip of Jim's cock and slowly rolled down the side of his shaft.  
  
Jim's hips were gyrating mindlessly, trying to shove Leonard's fingers back against that one spot.  
  
"Bones…please…"  
  
Leonard felt a smile creep onto his face as he continued to slide his fingers in and out of Jim's channel.  
  
"What do you want, Jim?"  
  
"Fuck me, Bones. Now…please."  
  
The fingers were moving easier now, but still it felt like there was too much resistance for Leonard to even think about pushing his cock into Jim.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes! I'm ready, damn it. Just do it, Bones."  
  
Jim had to know, so Leonard stroked his fingers over Jim's prostate one more time before he withdrew his fingers and squeezed more lube onto his fingers and slicked up his own cock. He was worried that if he touched himself too much, he was going to come before he even got the chance to slide into Jim, so he tried to slather as much lube onto himself with just a few touches.  
  
Jim was spreading his thighs even further, the muscles still trembling from the strain, as Leonard stroked his hands up the quivering muscles as he positioned himself. He felt breathless as his cock pressed against Jim's entrance, and he couldn't help but lean down and steal another equally breathless kiss from Jim's lips before he pushed forward.  
  
Jim was tight, incredibly tight, and for a second Leonard thought that this wasn't going to work when finally the tight muscles yielded and the head of his cock slipped in. Leonard couldn't suppress a deep groan as his cock was sucked into that tight heat, and he forced himself to recite muscle groups in Latin so that he wouldn't come right on the spot. Jim was groaning, too, and Leonard thought he could lose himself in this, in the sight and sounds and feel of Jim underneath and around him like this.  
  
Giving Jim a moment to adjust, Leonard slowly started to press in further. As soon as he managed to force his eyes open again, he tried to focus on Jim's face, trying to gauge his reaction.  
  
He had expected pleasure, maybe lust and some kind of abandon, and so he was surprised to find Jim's face a mostly expressionless mask. But there were still the furrows on his brow, and the small lines at the corners of his eyes that showed one thing clear as day to Leonard – Jim was in pain. Someone with a pain tolerance as high as Jim's was able to hide it well, but Leonard knew all the signs by now.  
  
"Jim?"  
  
"'s okay, Bones. Just…just gimme a sec."  
  
Leonard did, and he added another couple of moments on top of it just to make sure, but as soon as he rolled his hips forward just slightly, the lines around Jim's eyes deepened and the corners of his mouth twitched slightly.  
  
"Jim? Are you all right?"  
  
"Sure. Just…just a little…need a moment…"  
  
"Bullshit," Leonard grunt out, pulling back as carefully as he could. "You're in pain. I'm hurting you."  
  
"No, Bones…you're…"  
  
But Leonard was already pulling out, and as careful as he tried to be he felt the resistance of Jim's passage around him, and he caught the slight wince as the head of his cock slipped free of the tight ring of muscle. Jim's erection, he noticed, was flagging rapidly, and his cock was almost limp by the time Leonard withdrew.  
  
Jim hissed slightly as Leonard slipped out, and that sound alone chased away most of Leonard's own arousal.  
  
"Damn it, Jim, you have to tell me if I hurt you!"  
  
Jim shifted, wincing slightly as he did so. "It's okay, Bones."  
  
"No, it's not! I hurt you. You were in pain, for crying out loud. That's not okay, Jim. It's anything but okay!"  
  
Jim struggled to sit up, pulling his knees against his chest as if to shield himself. He was blushing, and that reaction probably astonished Leonard far more than anything else had. He was so angry and confused that he missed Jim's next softly spoken words.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
Jim shrugged. "It's supposed to hurt, I guess."  
  
"No, it's not!" Leonard threw his hands in the air in frustration, not caring in the least about how ridiculous they had to look, sitting naked on the bed like this and yelling at one another. "It's not supposed to hurt so much that you wince in pain! Damn it, you weren't even hard anymore and you're trying to tell me that it's supposed to be like that? I don't think so, Jim."  
  
Jim buried his face in his arms with a resigned sigh. "I thought it was going to get better."  
  
"And you didn't think it was a bit unusual that it hurt this much?"  
  
Again, Jim shrugged, nervously tugging at his own hair for a few long moments before he finally raised his head and looked at Leonard. His cheeks were still flushed, but there was determination in his eyes. Determination, and something like a challenge.  
  
"How was I supposed to know?"  
  
Leonard didn't get Jim. "Oh, I don't now, maybe think about whether or not it ever hurt so much before?"  
  
"Not like I've ever done this before, Bones."  
  
The admission had been soft, and somewhat resigned, but the effect couldn't have been any different if Jim had shouted out the words. It took a moment for what he said to register, but once it did, Leonard felt as if the floor had dropped out from under his feet.  
  
"What?"  
  
Once more Jim shrugged his shoulders, feigning nonchalance even though his ears were flushing a deep red. "You heard me."  
  
"You've never done this before?"  
  
"Not with a guy, no."  
  
"And you didn't think that maybe I'd want to know about that?"  
  
"Why? It's just sex. I wanted to do it, you wanted to do it, and I thought we could figure it out together."  
  
But Leonard was still caught up in the initial revelation.  
  
"You've never slept with a man before?"  
  
"I told you. No."  
  
Leonard was distinctly aware that he was shaking his head, still unable to really believe this. This…this was _Jim_.  
  
"But…at the Academy, there were plenty of guys fawning over you. Hitting on you, too."  
  
Jim shrugged. "Doesn't mean I slept with any of them. Or did anything else for that matter. I just…I was never really interested. What, did you think I was sleeping with anyone who so much as smiled at me?"  
  
There was a defensive undertone to his voice now, and Leonard immediately pedaled back. One thing he had never done was to judge Jim the way everyone else judged him, based on appearances alone. Only, apparently he had, even if he had never admitted to it. It was a disconcerting realization.  
  
"No! It's just that I figured if either of us was somehow experienced at this, it would be you."  
  
Now it was Jim's turn to look dumbfounded, and Leonard couldn't help it. The whole situation was just too damn ridiculous, and he just couldn't keep it in anymore. He started laughing. And really, had there ever been a more ridiculous thing? Here they were, the Captain of Starfleet's flagship and his Chief Medical Officer, both experienced in battle and all the crap the universe threw at them on a regular basis, and they were screwing up something as simple and intuitive as sex because neither of them was willing to admit that they had never done this before.  
  
If that wasn't ridiculous, he had no idea what was.  
  
But Jim didn't seem to share that feeling, because as soon as Leonard started laughing his face closed off, and his brows drew together in anger. He didn't look Leonard in the eyes as he shifted towards the edge of the bed and tried to get up. Still unable to quell his laughter entirely, Leonard reached out and reached for Jim's wrist, holding him back.  
  
"Let me go!"  
  
"No. We need to talk about this."  
  
"There's nothing to talk about. I'm glad you think this is funny, Leonard."  
  
It was the use of his first name that sobered Leonard up immediately. Jim was upset, and the last thing Leonard wanted right now was for this situation to blow up.  
  
"You want to know what's funny, Jim?"  
  
Jim crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. "Not really, no."  
  
"Well, I'm gonna tell you anyway. What makes this whole situation funny, hilarious even, is the fact that we both had no fucking clue what we were doing earlier, and we both automatically assumed that the other one had done it before and was going to take over the lead at some point. That's ridiculous, Jim. We're two grown men, and we both rather made an ass of ourselves instead of admitting that we're fumbling around like two high school prom queens who have no idea what they're doing."  
  
Jim's eyes grew wide before he carefully schooled his face into a neutral mask again.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Leonard resisted the urge to roll his eyes because he knew that Jim normally wasn't this thick.  
  
"What I mean is that I have just as much experience with this as you do. It's not like I ever did this before, either."  
  
"What?"  
  
Now it was Leonard's turn to shrug. "You heard me. I never slept with a man, either."  
  
"And you didn't think I should know that?"  
  
"What, like you were an open book about your lack of experience?"  
  
Jim drew a breath to reply, but after a second he shook his head and dropped it against his chest so that his arms shielded his face from view. His shoulders were shaking, and when Leonard gently reached out and lifted his chin with his finger, Jim was laughing, too.  
  
"Damn, but we're a pair of idiots."  
  
Leonard smiled and leaned forward to press a gentle, chaste kiss against Jim's lips.  
  
"Amen to that."  
  
Jim shook his head, biting his lip to keep form laughing even more. "We're never going to tell anyone about this. Never. If anyone ever asks about this, we lie. Just so we're clear."  
  
"Agreed. This is not leaving this room. Ever."  
  
Jim smiled and pulled Leonard closer until their foreheads were touching. Up this close, his eyes seemed almost incredibly blue, and Leonard wanted nothing more than to lose himself in that gaze for the rest of the night. Maybe forever. Their earlier arousal had been buried during the past minutes, and even though Leonard had been painfully close to climax just a little while ago, now he was entirely limp.  
  
Jim wasn't faring any differently, but as he leaned in close and pressed his lips against Leonard's, Leonard felt some of that earlier spark starting to coil in his belly again.  
  
"How about we go back to the beginning and try this again?" Jim asked as they broke apart, his voice husky.  
  
"What? Now?"  
  
Jim shrugged. "Why not? It's not like anything's stopping us."  
  
"I don't know. I just thought that since we've both never done this before…"  
  
The impish grin Leonard knew and loved was back on Jim's face as he pressed Leonard back into the mattress and leaned in for another kiss.  
  
"What, you wanted to wait until we got the room lined with candles and the bed covered with rose petals?"  
  
Leonard's reply was expertly cut off by the press of Jim's lips against his and his tongue pressing into his mouth, but he broke away from the kiss after a moment.  
  
"I just…I don't know. I want this to be special, I guess."  
  
The smile on Jim's face softened. "Then we'll just have to make sure it's going to be."  
  
He kissed him again, soft and tender yet insisting, and Leonard surrendered. He was sure they were going to figure this out, now that they were on the same page about it. Two certified geniuses in one bed, it would be a miracle if they couldn't figure out something as simple as sex.  
  
They had the kissing down to a pat, Leonard mused as Jim pulled him down onto the mattress again, mouth pressing hungrily against Leonard's. Jim's skin was warm against his the way they were now, pressed against each other from head to toe. Suddenly, it seemed a lot easier than before. Maybe it was the knowledge that he and Jim were on the same page about this, and that there was no standard of previous experience he had to live up to. They'd just have to figure this out together, and if there was one thing he and Jim had always been great in, then it was doing things together.  
  
Jim was moaning softly as they broke apart, and Leonard wanted to keep hearing that sound. He remembered vividly how much Jim seemed to like having his nipples played with earlier. Leonard himself wasn't that sensitive, but the way Jim arched into him as he took one of Jim's nipples between thumb and forefinger, twisting and teasing it gently, told him clearly that this was something that needed to be explored further in the future. At great length, if possible. The small nub of flesh hardened under his ministrations, and Jim started writhing underneath him with a gasp.  
  
"Bones…"  
  
"Like that, don't you?"  
  
Jim responded by kissing his way along Leonard's jaw, his mouth leaving a hot and moist trail in its wake. There was a spot on the side of Leonard's neck, one he had never considered anything special before, but as Jim latched onto it, teasing it and biting it gently before he soothed the spot with kisses, the sensation went straight to Leonard's groin.  
  
"Like that?" Jim mimicked with an impish grin before his mouth descended again, sucking so hard that Leonard was sure it was going to leave a bruise. Not that he cared. As long as what Jim did felt this good, Leonard couldn't care less about what he looked like in the morning.  
  
Jim tried to shift them around, flip them over on the bed, but Leonard used his weight to his advantage and kept Jim pinned underneath him, leaning down to use his mouth to tease Jim's nipple even further.  
  
"God, Bones…"  
  
Leonard couldn't help but grin, feeling ridiculously proud at the fact that he was the one to cause these gasps and moans, that he was the one who made Jim arch and writhe like that. It was an insanely good feeling.  
  
Jim was getting hard again. They both were, and Leonard slowly worked his way down Jim's chest and belly, trying to figure out what felt best. Just the thought that Jim's body was his to explore like that was incredibly arousing. Jim's skin was warm under his hands and mouth, and tasted faintly salty as his tongue traced its path across Jim's torso. The change between the coarse hair on his chest and the soft skin over his ribs was intoxicating in its own right, and the farther down Leonard's exploration led him, the faster his heart started to beat in anticipation.  
  
Jim's cock was nearly fully hard again, nestled against his lower belly, and Leonard couldn't help himself. He leaned down and pressed a kiss against the tip, tongue darting out to lap up the drop of moisture gathered there.  
  
Jim released a shaky breath at that, hand tangling in Leonard's hair.  
  
"Bones. You don't…you don't have to do this."  
  
Leonard grinned at that and ran his tongue teasingly around the head of Jim's cock. "But maybe I want to."  
  
And it was true. He wanted this, despite the near-gagging experience from earlier. He knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of this, knew how great a blowjob felt if it was done _right_ , and he wanted to give Jim that pleasure, or at least as much of it as he could without any experience or practice. Earlier he had simply tried to take too much at once, but that was a mistake he wasn't going to make again.  
  
Slowly but steadily, he took Jim in his mouth, his lips moving down Jim's shaft while he teased the cock with his tongue. A strangled moan escaped Jim's lips as the tip of his cock hit the roof of Leonard's mouth, and he let his head fall back into the mattress with a small groan.  
  
"Bones, please…don't stop…"  
  
Leonard had no intention of stopping, but he had learned his lesson from earlier and didn't try to deep-throat Jim all at once this time. Instead, he covered the base of Jim's cock with his hand and carefully started bopping his head up and down. It seemed to do the trick because Jim gave another strangled moan, his hands clutching the sheets tightly as he struggled hard not to buck his hips up. Leonard stilled him with a hand against his hip as he continued to move his head.  
  
Jim tasted heady on his tongue, a taste Leonard thought he was never going to get enough of. And as he gently sucked on Jim's cock, he reached for the tube of lube that was still lying on the bed beside them and squeezed some onto his fingers. If they were going to try this again tonight, they were damn well going to take their time this time around. Jim's thigh felt surprisingly smooth underneath his palm as he exerted a gentle pressure. It took Jim a moment to catch up on, maybe because he was too focused on what Leonard was doing to his cock, but as Leonard slid his lubricated fingers past his balls and over his perineum, he spread his legs wider. At first, Leonard just ran his finger around Jim's hole, teasing as much as testing the waters after their disastrous first attempt at this.  
  
Jim was still slick from earlier, and he gasped softly as Leonard slid one finger into him again, and somewhat regretfully Leonard lifted his mouth off Jim's cock. Licking his lips, he made sure that Jim had his eyes open and was looking at him before he spoke.  
  
"I'm gonna take my time with you now, Jim. I'm gonna open you up nice and slow, prepare you good before I slide into you. Just like I should have done the first time around."  
  
Jim whimpered as Leonard's finger unerringly sought out Jim's prostate, and Leonard watched in fascination as more precome leaked out of the tip of Jim's cock. His medical mind knew all the underlying concepts and connections, but it was something entirely different here on this bed, knowing that he was the reason why Jim was writhing on the mattress the way he was now. It was an intoxicating sight, and now that he had gotten a taste of it Leonard didn't think he was ever going to be able to go without it again.  
  
As he slid a second finger into Jim, it was Leonard who had to bite back a groan at the thought that he had been buried in that tight heat earlier, and his cock twitched in anticipation of being inside of Jim again. Just the sight of his fingers moving in and out Jim's body was so incredibly arousing that Leonard had to hold back the urge to hurry the hell up. Two fingers were sliding in and out of Jim easily, and Leonard waited until the half-lidded blue gaze was focused on him before he continued.  
  
"How's that feel, darlin'?"  
  
Jim had to lick his lips before he replied, and Leonard greedily watched the progress of that pink tongue across those lush lips.  
  
"Good," he rasped out. "Full. Feels good, Bones. Don't stop."  
  
Leonard had no intention of stopping, and he paused once more to add more lube before he gently pressed a third finger into Jim. There was a bit more resistance this time, a slight twist of Jim's features as he flinched at the sensation of further penetration. His breath hitched slightly, too, and Leonard immediately stilled his fingers.  
  
"Jim? Talk to me, darlin'."  
  
Jim worried his lower lip with his teeth for a moment, and Leonard was ready to withdraw his fingers again.  
  
"Do you want me to stop?"  
  
Jim immediately shook his head, blue eyes wide and dark with arousal.  
  
"No," he shook his head again. "Don't stop. Just…take it slow?"  
  
It sounded too much like a question, as if Jim didn't have all the right in the world to set the pace for this, even though it was his own body he was offering up to Leonard. It was this side of Jim that occasionally surfaced that threatened to drive Leonard to his knees each and every time with the thought of how much love and affection Jim hadn't received when he should have. Leonard bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to the inside of Jim's thigh.  
  
"As slow as you want me to, darlin'." He loved the shudder that ran through Jim every time he used that particular endearment. "Just tell me if I go too fast."  
  
Kneeling between Jim's legs, Leonard was torn between watching his fingers disappear slowly but steadily into Jim's body and watching Jim's face for any sign of discomfort. He tried to take his cues from Jim's instinctive reactions, pushing when he had the feeling that Jim was opening up, stopping his fingers when he felt Jim tightening around him. Jim had his eyes closed, lips slightly parted in what Leonard could only describe as abandon – highly arousing and almost obscene, too – as Leonard pressed his fingers into him.  
  
Once more, Leonard sought out Jim's prostrate, and as his fingers brushed against it, those blue eyes flew open and Jim yelped as his hips arched off the mattress seemingly of their own accord. The movement pushed Leonard's fingers into Jim's tight channel with seemingly no resistance at all, and as Jim settled again Leonard reached for Jim's weeping cock with his free hand, spreading the moisture around the head.  
  
"I'm all the way in, Jim. You're so tight, sweetheart, but you open up for me, don't you? How does it feel to have my fingers inside you?"  
  
He pulled his fingers back slightly and pushed them in again, small movements at first but going farther and deeper every time. He let go of Jim's cock, though, however reluctantly, because he was afraid that the double stimulation was going to send him over the edge too soon otherwise.  
  
"God, Bones…" Jim moaned, hips rutting back against Leonard's fingers. Not the answer Leonard had been aiming for.  
  
"How does it feel, Jim?"  
  
"Good. Feels good, Bones." His tongue moved over his lips in a way that made Leonard want to abandon his position between Jim's legs to lick into that delectable mouth and not stop until all he could taste was Jim. It was a struggle to stay where he was and continue to move his fingers in and out of Jim, and only the prospect of soon replacing those fingers with his cock held him there.  
  
"Does it hurt?"  
  
Jim shook his head against the pillow, moaning softly.  
  
"Feels so full, Bones. So full of you."  
  
He was rutting his hips back at Leonard's fingers by now, trying to get them in even deeper and make them brush right at his prostate, and Leonard felt the last resistance against his fingers fade away until they were sliding easily in an out of Jim's body. Still, it was a tight fit, despite the ease with which the fingers were moving now, and Leonard's cock was another matter entirely. One that required more preparation.  
  
Jim seemed to have a different idea, though, because the next time Leonard's fingers brushed against that small gland inside, he sat up. Leonard didn't really know what was happening, one moment he felt his fingers slip out of Jim's body, the next he had his arms full of his warm and naked lover, Jim's lips seeking out his hungrily. The kiss was lacking finesse, but it was perfect in the pure need it conveyed.  
  
"Want you," Jim panted, and distinctly Leonard was aware of the small sound the flip-cap of the lube made as it was opened. "Want you so much, Bones."  
  
Cool and slippery hands reached for his cock, and Leonard groaned into Jim's mouth as those hands started to slick him up. It was hard not to rut his hips up into Jim's ministrations until he came.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Damn it, Bones. Yes, I'm sure."  
  
It wasn't the kind of pillow talk Leonard was used to, but then again Jim was different from anyone else he had ever been with, and not just because he was a man. Besides, Jim's hands were sliding down his cock at that precise moment, slippery fingers reaching for his balls and massaging them gently, and at that moment he would have probably agreed to anything. Pulling Jim against him for another bruising kiss, he shifted them around until he was in Jim's earlier position, lying flat on the bed with Jim straddling his hips.  
  
"Bones?"  
  
"Like this, darlin'. Want you just like this."  
  
That way, Jim was going to be able to control the initial penetration and the speed at which he wanted to go. He was pulled into another kiss, and Leonard gasped into Jim's mouth as he felt a hand on his cock, holding him steady as Jim shifted into position above him. He felt the pressure as Jim lined him up with his entrance, then Jim shifted and Leonard's cock breached that tight heat, and quite probably he had died and gone to heaven, because _this_ …there were no proper words to describe what it felt like as Jim slowly slid down his cock.  
  
He was grasping Jim's hips tightly – how his hands had gotten there, Leonard had no idea or memory of – and though it cost nearly superhuman effort Leonard opened his eyes and looked up into Jim's face. Jim's eyes were closed, and his lower lip was caught between his teeth. There was a flush to his face and as he opened his eyes, they were blown wide with arousal, his pupils so wide that his eyes appeared almost black.  
  
"Jim…"  
  
"Just…just a second."  
  
The urge to drive up his hips and just bury himself inside of Jim completely was big and tempting, but with every bit of self-restraint he could muster up, Leonard held himself back. Instead, he ran his hands down Jim's sides, over the firm skin and muscles, across his hips and down to his thighs. The muscles there were quivering slightly from the strain of holding himself up, and Leonard smoothed his palms over the warm skin. After a few moments, he felt Jim relax above him, and he lifted himself up a little before he sank down even further.  
  
Jim continued to move like that, lifting himself up a in small movements before he sank down farther and farther. With a soft moan, he eventually bottomed out, sinking down the entire length of Leonard's cock, and Leonard groaned loudly at the feeling of being buried so deeply inside of Jim.  
  
"Bones…" Jim panted against Leonard's lips, leaning in close enough to kiss him. Leonard slid his hands up Jim's thighs and around his back, firmly kneading both cheeks between his fingers.  
  
"You feel…you have no idea how this feels, Bones. So…so full, filled with _you_ …it's amazing…"  
  
If it felt anything like what Leonard was experiencing right now, _amazing_ didn't even come close. There was only friction and heat, and if at all possible Leonard wanted to stay like this forever.  
But then Jim was moving, lifting his hips up a fraction before he sank down again, and Leonard started seeing stars.  
  
He was barely aware of Jim's hands on his shoulders, radiating heat against his skin as his hips started to move, tentatively at first. Distantly, Leonard was aware that there had to be some residual pain Jim had to be feeling, but Jim was setting the pace and if there was any pain from the stretching, it didn't seem to last as their movements settled into a rhythm.  
  
Leonard could only gasp and hang on for the ride as Jim set the pace above him. They weren't perfectly in synch, and Leonard could feel his control slip. It was too much, too many sensations at once now that they were finally doing this. He knew that he wasn't going to last long with Jim gyrating his hips that way.  
  
Jim's cock was flushed a deep red, hard and weeping against his stomach. There was a spot of precome where it bounced against the skin of his stomach every time Jim moved up and down, and Leonard shifted his right hand away from Jim's ass to take a firm hold of Jim's erection. Jim gasped, closing his eyes and throwing his head back as Leonard started to squeeze and shift his fist along his shaft.  
  
"Bones…"  
  
"You're gorgeous like this, Jim. Gorgeous, and mine."  
  
"Yours, all yours."  
  
Those breathlessly panted words nearly sent Leonard over the edge. His brain wasn't really able to process all the sensations, and just the sight of Jim moving above him, of his cock now sliding easily in and out of Jim's body, was far more than Leonard could really grasp. Jim seemed lost in a world of pleasure all on his own, stealing open-mouthed kisses whenever he could. He was getting closer, too, if the almost desperate way he was pushing himself onto Leonard's cock was any indication.  
  
Leonard gasped as he shifted his angle above him, leaning back on his hands with a look of concentration on his face, trying to guide Leonard into him at a different angle. Leonard knew what Jim was looking for and canted his hips up, guiding Jim with one hand against his hip so that his cock entered Jim at a slightly different angle.  
  
The loud gasp and jerk of Jim's cock in his hand was proof that the angle had been right, and suddenly Jim slammed down on him, twisting his hips in a way that had Leonard seeing stars and lose all control. One more thrust of his hips and he was coming, groaning out Jim's name much louder than he thought possible, his grip on Jim's hip so tight that he was sure his fingers were going to leave bruises.  
  
Jim stilled above him as he came, but before Leonard even had the chance to come down from this incredible high, he was rutting against him again, almost desperately impaling himself on Leonard's cock while it was still hard. The sensation was almost too much, too much friction against suddenly sensitive flesh, and Leonard tightened his grip around Jim's hard cock.  
  
"Bones, I need…need to…please…"  
  
"Shhh, darlin'. Come for me. Just let go."  
  
He didn't know where he took the coherency to form full sentences from, but it felt easy to tighten his hand even more around Jim's weeping cock. He brought the other hand up to pinch Jim's nipple, and with a loud shout Jim tightened impossibly around him as he came. His cock pulsed in Leonard's hand and his muscles tightened so much around him that pleasure shifted to pain and back again as Jim rode out his climax, muttering _Bones, Bones, Bones_ under his breath as he sank down on top of Leonard.  
  
Leonard was aware of sated, open-mouthed kisses and Jim's warm weight atop of him, but that was all that broke through the post coital haze for the next couple of moments. It took a few minutes to come down from that incredible high, until his brain was capable of processing all those individual sensations – Jim's completely boneless weight atop of him, the way he was panting wetly against Leonard's collarbone, the hot skin of Jim's back under his roaming hands, the slight twitch of his cock where it was still buried inside of Jim.  
  
It took even longer to free enough brain capacity for speech, though he had the distinct feeling he should stay away from multiple syllables for a while.  
  
"Wow."  
  
Jim chuckled, pressing a kiss against the skin of Leonard's chest.  
  
"Yeah. Wow. That's…that's it. Wow."  
  
Good to know that he wasn't the only one who was feeling slightly incoherent. Leonard's limbs felt ridiculously heavy, but somehow he managed to bring up a hand to run it through Jim's sweat-matted hair. Jim wriggled atop of him, a small sound of discomfort escaping his lips that mirrored Leonard's own feeling at having his over-sensitive cock shifted along with the movement. With a small groan, Leonard shifted his hips and pulled out as carefully as he could. No matter how careful he was, Jim still winced as the head of Leonard's cock slid free, and Leonard felt a strange sensation of loss at the separation.  
  
Jim rolled to the side, curling up around Leonard as tightly as he could. A distinct voice in the back of Leonard's head took notice of the fact that they had made a mess of the bed, the sheets rumpled and covered in sweat, lube and semen, and they weren't looking much better, either. They were going to stick together quite uncomfortably if they didn't clean off all the lube and come, but right now Leonard couldn't be bothered to move.  
  
Jim was a warm pleasant weight against his side, face nuzzled against the side of Leonard's neck and his breaths deep and even against his skin. Post-coital drowsiness threatened to overcome Leonard, as well, and he figured that for their first attempt at this, they hadn't done too bad. Initial starting problems notwithstanding. At least the second time around, Jim hadn't shown any signs of pain. Though, Leonard noticed with a sudden feeling of alarm, nobody he knew was better at hiding it when he was in pain than Jim. He'd better make sure he hadn't any damage in the heat of the moment.  
  
"I didn't hurt you, did I?"  
  
Jim made a few grumbling sounds against Leonard's neck.  
  
"No," he breathed out. "Guess my legs will be sore tomorrow, but that's okay."  
  
Leonard reached out with a smile and gently started to rub soothing circles into the muscles of one of the thighs in question.  
  
"I can give you a muscle relaxant."  
  
Jim shook his head, burrowing more closely against Leonard's side. "No, 's okay. It'll remind me that I really liked what we did."  
  
Leonard's smile widened. "I liked it, too."  
  
"Good," Jim replied sleepily. "'cause we'll be doing it a lot more often from now on."  
  
There was really nothing Leonard could respond to that because the prospect of having sex like this on a regular basis? He'd be stupid not to look forward to that.  
  
He was convinced that Jim was already asleep, and was in fact more than just halfway there already, when Jim stirred against his side once more. Shifting into an even more comfortable position, he tightened his arms around Leonard.  
  
"Love you."  
  
The answer to that came surprisingly easy as well, like something he had known for a long time already.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
Tightening his arms around Jim, Leonard allowed himself to drift off to sleep. They could always worry about the soiled sheets later.  
  
  
 _ **The End.**_

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in response to a prompt asking for first time male/male sex between them, but neither tells the other about it because they assume that the other has more experience with it.


End file.
